The short version: BNI founder Ivan Misner told the Top Coach cast that coaches win clients through relationships, credibility and about eight hours of networking a week.
Ask successful independent coaches how to get coaching clients, and most won’t mention ads or cold outreach. They fill their calendars through people who know them, trust them, and know exactly who to send their way. In Episode 2 of Top Coach, the twelve competing coaches got a surprise lesson in how that works from the person who built a global organization around it: Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI.
Watch: Top Coach, Episode 2 | Ivan Misner’s full conversation with the cast
Why BNI Showed Up on Top Coach
John Andrew Williams, CTEDU’s founder and Top Coach trainer, started as a high school Latin teacher with a small coaching practice on the side in Southern Oregon. In 2008, he turned down a full-time position at his school, quit teaching, and moved five hours north to Portland. He cashed out a $10,000 401(k) and rode the Greyhound south twice a week to keep his existing clients.
He had to build a practice fast, and he knew very little about business. A BNI chapter in Portland changed that. He started waking up early for meetings of 20 to 40 local professionals, then sitting down one-on-one with the people he met. That network became the foundation of his practice.
When John designed Top Coach, networking made the list of business challenges early. He asked Ivan to be a guest, and Ivan said yes. The coaches had no idea who was waiting in the room.
What Networking Actually Means
Ivan’s definition is broader than most people expect:
“Networking is the process of developing and using your contacts to increase your business, enhance your knowledge, expand your sphere of influence, or serve your community.”
Sales is one piece of that, and Ivan argues it’s the piece people over-focus on. He told the cast about a talk he gave to roughly 900 people. He asked how many were there hoping to sell something, and every hand went up. Then he asked how many were there hoping to buy something. Not one hand.
Ivan calls this the networking disconnect. People show up wanting to sell, and nobody in the room is there to buy. The fix is a different reason for being in the room.
Visibility, Credibility, Profitability
That reason is what Ivan calls the VCP process. You start with visibility, where people learn who you are and what you do. Next comes credibility, where they learn you’re good at it. Only after that do you reach profitability, where people willingly refer business to you.
Credibility is the slow part, and how slow depends on your profession. Ivan calls this the time-confidence curve. People will refer a florist quickly. They take much longer to refer a financial planner, because the stakes are higher. Coaching is a trust-heavy, high-stakes service too, so coaches should expect a longer curve and plan for it.
One coach asked how you know you’ve reached credibility. Ivan’s answer: ask. In a one-on-one, find out how you can help the other person, then ask whether anything stops them from referring you. Often the gap has nothing to do with trust. They simply don’t know how to describe what you do.
Relational Beats Transactional
The mindset Ivan most wants people to drop is that networking is transactional. In a survey of 12,000 people, he found that relational networkers did better than transactional ones. Those findings are in his book Business Networking and Sex (Not What You Think).
His favorite example is two women meeting at an event. The first asks the second how she heard about it. “My friend Sally invited me.” “You know Sally? I know Sally too!” Meanwhile the man standing with them is rolling his eyes, waiting to talk business. The women made a real connection. That connection is what referrals grow from.
The survey also found that men tended to introduce themselves like a résumé, while women built strong relationships but often never asked for the business.
Selling Something People Can’t See
Coaching is an invisible service. Nobody can hold it or test-drive it before they buy. Ivan worked as a business consultant before founding BNI, and he said he might have started a coaching company instead. His advice for invisible services is to sell the “afters.”
What does a client’s life or business look like after working with you? Maybe they finally delegate. Maybe they take real time off. Maybe they make a decision they’ve avoided for two years. Those outcomes are what a referral partner can repeat.
Ivan also says “specific is terrific.” Members of a weekly group like BNI should present something different each week, so that over a year their network learns the full range of what they do. One Top Coach cast member admitted after the session that they had simply assumed everyone already knew what they did.
How Much Time Networking Takes
Chelsey, who attended BNI years ago with her first business, asked how much time to give networking. Ivan’s survey found a direct linear correlation between hours spent networking and business generated through it. The average was 6.31 hours a week. The sweet spot was about eight.
That sounds like a lot until you see what counts. Chamber events, service clubs, nonprofit board work, one-on-ones and handwritten thank-you notes are all networking. Ivan frames those eight hours as marketing time.
Go Deep With One-on-Ones
“If your network is a mile wide and an inch deep, it’ll never be successful,” Ivan said. Depth comes from one-on-one meetings with people in your groups.
BNI’s data backs this up. Members who do one one-on-one a week give almost 100% more referrals than members who do one a month. They also receive almost 100% more. For coaches building a network from scratch, Ivan’s advice was to:
- Join a networking organization such as a chamber, Rotary, Kiwanis or BNI
- Choose a BNI chapter with more than 20 members, ideally 30 or more
- Schedule regular one-on-ones with people in those groups
- Serve on a nonprofit board, which over time puts you in rooms with leaders you’d never meet otherwise
Introverts Have an Edge
Todd asked what holds people back. Ivan pushed back on the idea that extroverts make the best networkers. Extroverts love meeting people, but their favorite topic tends to be themselves. Introverts find meeting people harder, but once they do, they ask questions and listen. “A good networker has two ears and one mouth and should use them proportionately.”
He gave introverts a practical tactic for working a room. Skip pairs facing each other squarely, which he calls a “closed two.” Look for open twos and open threes, where people stand angled with space to join. Larger groups are easier still, because you can step in quietly and let someone introduce themselves to you.
Work in Your Flame
Ivan closed with the line the coaches kept repeating afterward. “Always work in your flame, not your wax.” Your flame is the work that energizes you. Your wax is the work that drains you, and people can hear it in your voice. Hire out the wax where you can, and spend your time where you’re on fire.
BNI by the Numbers
Ivan founded BNI in January 1985 to build one referral group that fit his style. He found most groups either too pushy or too social, and wanted one focused on business but built on relationships. The glue was a philosophy BNI still calls Givers Gain: help others do business first, and everyone does better.
| Metric | Figure |
|---|---|
| Members worldwide | 355,000+ |
| Chapters | 11,800+ |
| Countries | 78 |
| Member referrals, past 12 months | 17.8 million |
| Member-generated business, past 12 months | $26.9 billion |
Figures are from BNI as of December 31, 2025, and BNI notes they are self-reported by members. About 30% of chapters now meet fully online or hybrid.
The Top Coach Networking Challenge
In Top Coach, the guest topic becomes the game. For the next four weeks, each coach sends real referrals to teammates, matched to the ideal client profile each teammate built in Episode 1. Every referral and follow-up earns points. The team with the most points after four weeks wins the business-building round and is safe from that week’s elimination. The winner is revealed in Episode 5.
The challenge surfaced a tension many coaches feel. One cast member described their network as sacred, built over years, and felt real hesitation about sharing it with people they barely knew. That is the VCP process in action. Referrals follow credibility, and credibility takes time.
Episode 2 also brings the competition’s first real elimination, and this week two coaches go home. Watch to see who stays, and who earns the week’s top brilliancy prize.
How to Get Coaching Clients Through Your Network
Ivan’s lessons line up with how CTEDU trains coaches. Our programs pair ICF-aligned coach education with practice building, starting with a clear ideal client profile so your network knows exactly who to send your way.
- Watch Top Coach, Episode 2
- Watch Ivan Misner’s full conversation with the cast
- Explore our training programs
Frequently Asked Questions
How do coaches get clients through networking?
Coaches get clients through relationships that turn into referrals. Ivan Misner’s VCP process describes the path. People first need to know who you are (visibility), then trust that you’re good at what you do (credibility). Only then will they refer clients to you (profitability).
How many hours a week should a coach spend networking?
Ivan Misner’s survey of 12,000 people found the average was 6.31 hours a week, and the sweet spot was about eight. That time includes chamber events, service clubs, nonprofit board work, one-on-ones and handwritten thank-you notes.
Is BNI a good fit for coaches?
BNI helped John Andrew Williams, CTEDU’s founder, build his early coaching practice in Portland. Ivan recommends choosing a chapter with more than 20 members, ideally 30 or more, and scheduling regular one-on-ones with members.
Can introverts be good at networking?
Yes. Ivan says introverts can make better networkers than extroverts because they ask questions and listen. His tip is to look for open groups in a room, since larger groups are easier to join quietly.
