The CTEDU Blog.

I remember a high school wrestling match where I was losing by a few points about halfway through the match. I was having a hard time earning an escape, and my frustration was starting to build. I was playing in my head what it would be like to stop trying so hard, to take it easy, and let the match slip away. But then something clicked, and I decided to give everything I had to win the match.

I fought like a madman to get out and escape. I went into overdrive and spent energy faking, weaving, pushing, and testing my limits of stamina when I’d collapse and having nothing left. But I got the next takedown, and then I got another. And another, and as time ran out, I was up four points. Even 20 years later I still remember that exact moment when I decided that I’d win that match.

What happens when you decide that you’re going to pull it out no matter what?

Ever go over a jump on skis or snowboard with a friend taking a video. The jump in real life seems massive, breathtaking, and huge. But then you look at your jump, and it looks like you’ve barely left the ground. In that moment, you see what you could do better and know you have the ability to send it big and push past the fear.

What helps you push past the point when excitement begins to eclipse the fear?

What’s the moment you appreciate the most?

Days quickly melt into weeks. Weeks turn into months. I find it hard to believe we’re this far into January and the new year. Yet life is lived moment to moment.

What’s your favorite moment of the day?

Bonus Question #1: At moment are you at your best?

Bonus Question #2: What’s the decision you’re most thankful for at the end of the day?

The beauty of the question “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” points us to look at the larger picture of ultimate worth. It invites us to consider projects and programs so grand, the goals seem unattainable, and reality has a way of coming crashing down. The brave, however, choose to pursue at least a lighter version of that ultimate dream, and a little momentum can become super fun. Yet the big, important question comes when setbacks happen, distractions intensify, and your resolve to keep moving forward is tested.

How much do you believe in your dream?

How are those resolutions coming along?

About three weeks into a new routine tends to be the hardest. The initial excitement has worn away. Some unforeseen obstacle or another quick vacation or stumbling blocks has made its presence known. Yet it’s in these moments that your resolution needs to find another form of motivation other than the newness and willpower of a New Year’s energy.

What’s the new source of motivation?

You ride a bike but drive a car. You might get a ride to work, but then you aren’t doing the hard part of driving. You drive a point home, but you ride a wave of emotion or momentum. Riding implies that you’re having fun, engaged in a harmonious way with the elements around you, and you’re going someplace.

How do you create more opportunities to ride in your weeks?

What makes it worth three minutes a day?

Bring to mind something that you’d like to accomplish in the next three months. Maybe it’s something that you’ve fretted about. Life coaching teaches us that perspectives matter, and being in a state of gratitude and optimism about your abilities to do the necessary work makes a big difference. So much of a difference that being in and sustaining a state of gratitude and reaching an optimistic perspective for three minutes might make the difference in your success.

How can you sustain three minutes of gratitude?

What happens on the journey from despair to hope?

Being stuck in a state of hopelessness usually pushes us in both directions at the same time. The first is feeling like shutting down, quitting, and moping. The second is a prompt to grow, meet and rise to the challenge, to learn the lesson sitting right in front of you. The second direction often hides, maybe provides an undertow, or operates in the background, but when it reveals itself, it’s the current that sweeps us back to hope.

How do you have the courage to face despair and see the undercurrent of hope?

What if attaining success were an anti-fragile system?

Some systems suffer or get destroyed with a setback like a glass that breaks when it falls. The broken glass gets swept away, but a plastic cup when it falls just bounces around. It doesn’t break nor is it improved. Now imagine a system where setbacks, challenges, obstacles actually produce benefit, and even further are required for advancement such as an immune system that requires germs to become strong.

What if success actually required set backs?

More on this concept: Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt’s new book The Coddling of the American Mind

When you’re in the middle of your work day and you’re tackling the impossible project or making headway into a nitty gritty problem, you’re slaying the a dragon. Some people spend inordinate amounts of energy trying to avoid dragons. Some have learned to face them, seek them out. We each do a bit of both. 

What’s your balance? (What would the dragon say?)