When to Not Bring Yourself

When we show up as life coaches, we cannot help but bring some of ourselves into the conversation. We bring our intuition into coaching sessions through our choice of powerful questions. We bring our unique coaching style. We bring our perspective. When we recognize how we show up in a session, we can mindfully serve the client for their sake, and not our own. However, coaches have to be careful not to bring other things into the session:

  • Conflict: Sometimes my wife and I may have a “heated discussion” before my work day. Conflict of any type can be a huge distraction during a coaching session. When in this space, best thing to do is to make things right with the other person before getting into a coaching session. The second best option is to take a minute to recenter ourselves before we begin coaching. During that session, it’s all about the client.
  • Expertise: While a coach’s expertise can have a bearing on the conversation, we should never set the expectation that we are experts our clients need to rely on. We never want to create a co-dependent client who needs our leadership and advice.
  • Exhaustion: Sometimes a series of sessions will hit us hard. By the end of the day, we may show up to a session simply too tired to provide a reasonable service. Instead of bringing our exhausted selves into the session, we should reschedule.

How can I recognize when I am bringing the wrong part of myself into a session?

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