When Boundaries Aren't Clear

The Powerful Paragraph

The word “boundary” brings with it many emotions. For the person setting the boundary, it can bring a feeling of safety and control. For the person the boundary impacts, it can feel limiting or frustrating. Often, the latter feelings are due to the way boundaries are communicated. For example, I might have a boundary about how I’m addressed during a disagreement. If I say something like, “I don’t like the way you talk to me when you’re upset,” I’m not setting a very clear boundary. This can lead to frustration and resentment. Instead, I can say, “It’s okay to disagree with me, but it’s not okay to raise your voice or use sarcasm to communicate your feelings on the topic.” The second statement is a much clearer and more actionable boundary that can and should be respected by others.