How Coaching Cured My Perfectionism

May 31, 2016 by John Andrew Williams

How Coaching Cured My Perfectionism

I’m a recovering Perfectionist.

Of course, I say this with a sense of humor and do not mean to take lightly those who have truly had to recover from a medical condition, but being a Perfectionist used to take a toll on the quality of my life.

It wasn’t until 5 years ago, when I became a professional coach, that I consciously applied the Growth Mindset in every area of my life. As a result, it has been so much easier to let go of being perfect. Instead, I truly enjoy the process and love to make mistakes, because it means I am learning. It doesn’t mean that mistakes and failures aren’t disappointing, but it makes getting back on the horse quicker and easier. It’s part of the process.

Learning how to implement these 3 TRUSTS has profoundly impacted my coaching and my life:

1. Trust the process.

Whether you’re referring to a coaching session, your career, or your stage in life, learning to trust the process will release you from the restraints of being perfect or doing things the right way. Focusing and trusting the process instead of the outcome allows you to be fully present and to enjoy the moment just for what it is.

2. Trust yourself.

You’ve made it this far; you’re not an idiot. Sure, you’ve made mistakes, and you’re going to make some more. However, you’ve always managed to figure it out and are stronger because of it. Sure, you don’t know what a client (or life) will throw your way, but having the confidence to know that you’ll be able to handle whatever comes at you will give you the strength to keep going.

3. Trust that others will get what they need from you. 

Oftentimes we get caught up in trying too hard to make others feel a certain way or to ensure that others know that we’re doing a great job. If we are authentic in trusting the process and in trusting ourselves, then we can trust that our clients and anybody else in our lives will get what they need from us–and trust that if they aren’t, they will ask for it. And there’s nothing wrong with asking once in a while, “Is there anything that you need from me?”

After all, sincerely asking somebody what they need from you is all part of the process…the process that we’re learning to trust.

From our Get the Answer series explore the question: